Just one story about General Sherman’s march through Dixie

There’s been a lot of War Between the States stuff in the news recently. A few days ago, there was a story about General William Sherman, the Yankee no-good, marching through the South, burning everything in sight except, thank goodness, Raleigh. By the way, the North prefers to call that conflict the Civil War, while Southerners refer to it as either the War of Northern Aggression. Unfortunately, Yankees continue to fight the battle while Southerners have pretty much forgotten the clash and still don’t care how the Yankees feel.

Which brings me to a recounting by historian (loosely used term) Lewis Grizzard about Sherman’s drive through the South, specifically a few days after he burned Atlanta, raping and pillaging along the way. Sherman, according to the late Mr. Grizzard, began his conquest in the New Orleans area, heading northeast into Atlanta and then headed east on Interstate 20 before heading north on Interstate 285. He was in the proximity of Stone Mountain when he heard the foulest language anyone could imagine. Sherman called a halt to his 200,000 troop. The cussing and cursing was being directed directly at Sherman.

On the top of Stone Mountain was a Confederate soldier who obviously had no respect for Sherman. Pissed off, Sherman asked his Lieutenant to send one of his finest to remove the confederate fighter. The Union soldier went up the mountain. There were sounds of fussing and fighting and soon thereafter the confederate soldier tossed the then dead union troop off the mountain. Sherman then directed 10 men up the mountain, but none survived. Then he sent 50, and 49 were tossed off the mountain dead. One soldier had survived and crawled down the mountain. He was missing an arm and a leg and was bleeding from every port in his body and then some, explained Grizzard.

Sherman was shocked to see what he had seen. “One man up, and he’s dead,” said Sherman to the surviving Union soldier. “Then 10 men up and they are all dead. Then we send up 50 and 49 are dead, and you’re in no shape to live. Tell me soldier, what’s the story up there. The Union soldier propped himself up on an elbow, looked up at Sherman and said, “It’s a trick, General. There’s two of them.”

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Dictionary.com word of the day

bunkum (noun) [buhng-kuh m]: insincere speechmaking by a politician intended merely to please local constituents